The ROOT! Compendium - Lyrics

All lyrics © ROOT!

Billy Don't Be A Hero

Billy was the football captain, apple of mum's eye
With the finest education a second mortgage could buy
But Billy dreamed of outlaw legends in the wild wild west
Where you could win a Brownlow^[1] and fail a blood test
His mother saw what that could mean and so she sat him down
And made her Billy promise:

Billy, Mama knows best. Bill, don't go way out west, son.
Billy don't go chasing thrills. Billy, stay home with your mum, son.
Billy don't take your guns to town.

But Billy still dreamed of football fame and all that it could bring
Not so much the running round - but the tarts and blow and bling
He'd gaze over to the west, dream his name in lights
As he sat in Hungry Jacks with his Coke and ice
He dreamed of meeting those kind of handymen who'd only fix a match
Or throw a gas stove off the side of a boat ... with someone attached^[2]
He'd have the cops in his pocket, a sawn-off in his boot
He'd know where Ronnie Biggs hid the loot^[3]
He'd even know the guys in ROOT!
He'd be the subject of every myth, rumour, innuendo, hunch
The word would even get around that he'd met Kevin Rudd for lunch
What would it be like to have real power - not just messin' round?
But in his head his mothers words:

Billy, Mama knows best. Bill, don't go way out west, son.
Billy don't go chasing thrills. Billy, stay home with your mum, son.
Billy don't take your guns to town.

Word of Billy's awesome talent found its way out west
He "standing jumped" right off the graph, his "beep test" better than the rest^[4]
That November day they picked him, his sobbing mother prayed
But Bill said "such is life" and just slipped on his shades
He signed his Faustian pact^[5] right there - and now he's going down
'Cos Bill forgot his mothers words:

Billy, Mama knows best. Bill, don't go way out west, son.
Billy don't go chasing thrills. Billy, stay home with your mum, son.
Billy don't take your guns to town.

It's more than a game
Dont let them send you way out west
You'll wind up in a house of pain
Defibrillators on your chest
Don't take your guns to town.

Information

1) Premiered at the Retreat Hotel, November 6, 2007.
2) The first performance included the phrase "Billy, Don't Be A Hero" and its original melody from the Paper Lace song of the same name. The italicised lyrics also appeared in this original version.
3) According to DC Root, this song is not about AFL footballer Ben Cousins.

Notes

1) The Brownlow Medal is awarded to the "best and fairest" player during a regular AFL season.
2) This is a reference to the Australian mini-series Blue Murder.
3) Ronnie Biggs took part in the 1963 Great Train Robbery, which stole £2.6 million, most of which was never recovered. Biggs escaped prison and before spending most of his life in Brazil, he spent a portion in Adelade and Melbourne.
4) The "standing jump" and the "beep test" are two methods of testing physical fitness.
5) A Faustian pact is another term for making a deal with the devil. In other words, the beginning of the end.