The ROOT! Compendium - Lyrics

All lyrics © ROOT!

I'm A Country Member

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste^[1]
Not like those Rolling Stones who are short, weedy, pasty faced^[2]

My name is Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.^[3] I live beneath the surface paradise^[4]
I put the aphids^[5] on your petunias,^[6] I put Ben Cousins career on ice^[7]
I put your ATM^[8] out of order, I put giardia^[9] in your drinking water
I forgot to put the bug in Y2K,^[10] but I did put the turd in Saturday
I put that wheel on your shopping trolley,^[11] I flatten your battery
I made millionaires tax free,^[12] I put the smell in cat wee^[13]
I made surf beaches undertow,^[14] I made old people drive slow^[15]
I'll see you never win Lotto,^[16] I invented the mosquito^[17]
I'm a mirage when you're dying of thirst,^[18] I spell Luna Park in reverse^[19]
I stopped me from finishing this verse.

'Cause I'm a Country member^[20]
I'm a Country member
Just like old Doug Anthony said,^[21]
One day in parliament,
I'm a Country member

Information

1) First heard in Introducing ROOT!
2) Debuted on December 7, 2007 at The Espy.
3) The version in Introducing ROOT! excluded the line "one day in parliament".

Notes

1) This is the opening line of the Rolling Stones' song, 'Sympathy for the Devil'.
2) The Rolling Stones are a rock and roll band who formed in 1962 - and have been performing ever since.
3) Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. is an American television actor who starred in "77 Sunset Strip" in the late '50's to early '60's and "The F.B.I." from the mid '60's to mid '70's.
4) The "surface paradise" may be a reference to H. G. Wells' novel "The Time Machine" where a man travels to the year 802,701. Humanity has evolved into two distinct classes - the Eloi and the Morlocks. The passive Eloi live above ground, in paradise, while the Morlocks tend to the machinery below ground, which keeps life on the surface pleasant. Also referenced in Introducing Get Up Yourself.
5) Aphids are small insects which eat plant life.
6) Petunias are a popular type of flower to grow. They are low maintenence, cheap and pretty to look at.
7) Ben Cousins was an AFL footballer whose career ended in 2007 following his arrest for drug possession.
8) ATM = Automated Teller Machine
9) In 1998, a relatively low amount of cryptosporidium and giardia were found in Sydney's drinking water. Since both can cause diarrhea and Giardiasis (also known as "Beaver Feaver" - seriously) a wide-spread "Boil your water" campaign was implimented. It proved to be extreme overkill as the levels were later found to be low, the incredible public spectacle was an embarrassment for Sydney Water.
10) At the turn of the year 1999 to 2000, a scare ran through the technological world that feared computers would all shut down when their clocks reset from "99" to "00". The event didn't happen, which lead many to speculate it was a massive, widespread scare campaign, however IT Specialists claim it didn't happen because they worked so hard to ensure that it didn't.
11) Shopping trolleys are known to always have "one wonky wheel" which goes in the other direction that the other wheels are going.
12) Many analysts argue that tax cuts are unfair as they effect smaller salaries much more than larger ones.
13) Cat wee... er, "feline urine" has a very particular and specifically pointed "odour".
14) An undertow pulls water back out to sea after it crashes on the shore. This happens under water and can be difficult to see. A person caught in a rip will drift out to sea, possibly drowning. Ironically, in the sense of these lyrics, this is helpful for surfers as it reduces the amount of paddling needed to reach waves.
15) The elderly, for various reasons, are known for their "cautious" driving. This seems to occur at inopportune times, typically when the person driving (you) is in a rush and cannot go around the slow driver ahead.
16) The odds of winning first prize in Lotto are anywhere between (depending on the variant of the game) 8,000,000:1 to 600,000,000:1.
17) The mosquito is a small insect which emits a high pitched whine as it flies. When it lands on skin, it pokes a hole, then sucks blood. Upon leaving, the area remains swollen and itchy. In some locations, they have been known to carry and transmit disease. (Research beleives they evolved roughly 170,000,000 years ago.
18) When dehydration occurs, as in the desert, a person can "see" images - mirages - typically of waterholes.
19) Popular among school children, spelling the name of the theme park "Luna Park" reveals the phrase "Anul Krap" - when spoken, "Anal Crap". (This line, and the "saturday" line appeared on the first ROOT! t-shirts. The preceding and following lines, inclusive, were DC Root's FaceBook "personal activities".
20) The Country Party was formed in 1920 and has since become The National Party of Australia.
21) Doug Anthony was leader of the conservative Country Party in the 1970s and was Deputy Prime Minister under Malcolm Fraser. Although no context can be found, reportedly, Doug Anthony said "I'm a country member," to which someone, possibly Gough Whitlam, replied "Yeah, I remember." (Please contact if you know more)