The ROOT! Compendium - Lyrics

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Dani From Dan Murphy's

It was at his local Dan Murphys^[1] that he first saw her face
Cascade Premium Lager^[2] was only thirty bucks a case
It was so good he was back the next day for more of the same
Not the beer--The girl; Dani was her name
Dani from Dan Murphys
Dani from Dan's,

Her eyes sparkled like Champenois^[3]
Her lips a fine rosé,^[4]
She scanned his cans with graceful hands and wished him a nice day
"Oh Dani," he thought, "you've really got a hold on me,
"And it's not your lowest prices guarantee."
When he bought scotch,^[5] he nearly got the bottle up to speak
When he brought hock^[6] with a docket she nearly brushed his cheek
He mispronounced chianti,^[7] she laughed, he went chartreuse,^[8]
He visualised their wedding day;
Would she get a discount on the booze?
He longed to hear the sleeping undulation of her breast
He longed to longed to nestle where she pinned her little Dan Murphys crest
He'd take her out to dinner somehwere really chic,
They'd stare into eachothers eyes, and disucss the specials for next week...

And then one day she wasn't there,
She never came back again,
Probably finished her degree and married her boyfriend.

He'd ask after her, but some things were never meant,
He hung around his house like Coopers Pale Ale sediment,
Now he's twenty-seven stone and diabetic for life,
His liver went and packed up on him, just like his former wife
Danni left him unfermented,
Longing for her cleanskin,^[9]
All he got was bitter
And a well stocked recycling bin.

Information

1) Debuted at The Espy, August 3, 2007.

Notes

1) Dan Murphys is the name of a liquor outlet.
2) Cascade PRemium Larger, along with Coopers Pale Ale (mentioned towards the end of the song) are two types of beer.
3) Champenois is the language (of some) and demonym for people in the Champagne. Coteaux Champenois is an AOC which covers the same area as sparkling Champagne production, but covers only still wines.
4) Rosé is a type of red wine, which has only enough colour to turn it slightly pink.
5) Scotch whisky is a type of whisky made in Scotland (go figure).
6) Hock is a type of beer made by Fuller's.
7) Chianti is an red Italian wine, produced in Tuscany.
8) Chartreuse is a colour found half-way between yellow and green. It was named after the liquor which, at the time, was produced in the Grande Chartreuse monastery, which is located in the Chartreuse Mountains.
9) A cleanskin is a type of wine, typically sold in boxes of six. Aside from minimal information on the box itself, the wine bottles have no labels or markings whatsoever.