The ROOT! Compendium - Lyrics

All lyrics © ROOT!

My BBQ

At my dream barbeque, naturally I’d be the host
I’d keep a lid on it. Make it a Celebrity Roast
At my barbie, I’d have to have Barbie^[1]
If you think SHE’s plastic, you should go to an ARIA after party

There’d be Lucky Grills^[2], T-Bone Walker^[3], Phish^[4], and Stephen Fry^[5]
Little Patti^[6], Lambchop^[7], and the philosopher J. B. Rissole^[8] - actually, that’s a lie
For the vegans I’d invite the Chilli Peppers^[9], Condoleeza could bring the rice^[10]
And there’s always the West Coast Eagles if we should run out of ice^[11]

I’d invite a few Emo bands, they’d be into barbies you’d think
Cos outside they’re all black and inside - squishy and pink^[12]
You never know who you’d bump into at my celebrity barbeque
Look! - there’s Wayne Carey and Glenn Archer - having a chat outside the loo!^[13]

I wouldn’t invite Kevin Rudd^[14], cos he has lunch with dodgy men
Or that guy he beat in the election - what was his name again?^[15]
I wouldn’t want Sam Newman but his ex-girlfriends I’d let in^[16]
They’re all murderous, coke-addicted stalkers - well, at least according to him

JD Salinger^[17] would turn up - he likes a good "do" I’ve heard
And Salmun Rushdie^[18] would be there in a false mo and beard
That’s what’s called an eye rhyme, though clearly it was a flop
So I’d better invite William Wordsworth^[19] to improve my poetic chops
And Missy Higgins, she could help me with my vowels^[20]
The entire cast of Big Brother^[21] could help me with my bowels

I’d have Huck Finn^[22], Lizzie Bennett^[23], Harry Potter^[24] could conjure up a course
Hamlet^[25] could bring the ham, Bertie Wooster^[26] could bring the sauce
It’d be a Pleasure Dome^[27], like something out of Coleridge^[28], or Yeats^[29]
Full of fictional characters, like the elected President of The United States^[30]

The StKilda crowd would be allowed, Tim Rogers and all the rest^[31]
I quite fancy seeing Nick Cave^[32] in an apron with plastic breasts

Claire Bowditch^[33] would be my door bitch and I’d have her on the look-out
For one unsavoury character who might be nosing about
This party’s for celebrities so don’t you let him in
His name is DC Root - and who’s ever heard of him?

Information

1) Performed at RRR Melbourne BBQ Day, December 2nd, 2007.
2) Featured only DC on vocals and Henri on guitar.
3) Thanks to BruisesBruisesBruises and an anonymous contributer for assistance with these lyrics/notations.
4) The song extended on the day to include DC Root "[sticking] the boot into Nick Cave and Tom Yorke [sic] on how they are expected to write depressing music with everything going so good for them these days." - thanks to TimChuma for the summary.

Notes

1) Barbie is the worlds best selling plastic toy doll
2) Leo "Lucky" Grills was an actor who played Bluey in the the cop show of the same name in 1976. Clips of the show were re-dubbed as Bargearse by "The Late Show".
3) T-Bone Walker was a blues guitarist who recorded and performed from roughly 1930 to roughly 1970, give-or-take a few years.
4) Phish were a heavilly influential band whose reputation surrounded their live, extended and largely improvised concerts.
5) Steven Fry was part of the comedic duo Fry and Laurie during the 1980's and 1990's and has recently begun making documentaries.
6) Little Pattie is an Australian singer from the 60s, probably most famous for "He's My Blonde Headed Stompie Wompie Real Gone Surfer Boy". AKA Patricia Amphlett, cousin of Divinyls singer Chrissie Amphlett.
7) Lamb Chop is a children's entertainer, a puppet created and controlled by Shari Lewis from the late 1950's until her unfortunate death in 1998. Following on, her daughter Mallory Lewis is now Lamb Chops "best friend". Lamb Chop is well known from the show Lamb Chop's Play-Along which spawned the infectious "Song That Never Ends".
8) J.B Rissole is apparently a philosopher, but may a reference to a Kev Kavanagh sketch from the Aunty Jack Show. If you know more please contact.
9) The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are a funk rock band who have been performing since 1983.
10) Condoleezza Rice is an American politician and the first black woman to serve as Secretary of State.
11) West Coast Eagles player Chris Mainwaring died from a suspected heart attack on October 1, 2007 and reportedly had cocaine, ecstasy, cannabis, Roaccutane, anti-depressants and alcohol in his system at the time. Ben Cousins was reporedly at his house on that night and was arrested just over two weeks later with a small quantity of diazepam, viagra and oxycontin found in his car. Ice is a slang term for Methamphetamine, a drug.
12) Emo is an abbreviation of "Emotional" - typically the term will refer to a musical style which has evolved quite substantially since the 1980's when it began. Most recently, it has referred to bands and individuals alike who share a common fashion sense: dyed black straight hair, tight jeans, black shirts and other generic forms of make-up and accessories.
13) Wayne Carey, at a party at Glenn Archer's house, had his affair exposed when Kelli Steven's (North Melbourne Vice Captain Anthony Stevens's wife) followed him into the toilets.
14) Kevin Rudd is the Prime Minister of Australia, he succeeded John Howard
15) John Howard was the Prime Minister of Australia, until the 2007 election, which occurred one week and one day before this song premiered.
16) Sam Newman is a television host, mainly on the AFL Footy Show. He has been known as a womanizer and has been rumoured to have been with Pamela Anderson, Imogen Bailey and Jo Hall, among others.
17) J. D. Salinger is an American authour best known for his novel The Catcher in the Rye.
18) Salman Rushdie is an authour perhaps best known for the largely controversial novel: The Satanic Verses.
19) William Wordsworth was a poet who essentially co-launched the Romantic Age with Samuel Taylor Coleridge [see note #28].
20) Missy Higgins is a singer/songwriter from Melbourne, Australia. Her vocal stylings are somewhat unique to foreign ears due to her not shying away from the wide vowels of the natural Australian accent.
21) Big Brother (specifically Big Brother Australia and Big Brother Uncut) is a reality show which has received heavy criticism for its vulgarity including sexual discussions content and high level of coarse language. The broadcaster, Channel Ten was found to have breached the industry code of practice twice during Big Brother Uncut by broadcasting footage that went past the maximum MA15+ rating for Australian commercial television.
22) Huck Finn is the titular character in Mark Twain's novel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
23) Lizzie Bennett is the main character from the novel Pride and Prejudice.
24) Harry Potter is the titular character and a Wizard in the Harry Potter series of books, films and lucrative merchandise range.
25) Hamlet is the titular character in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet.
26) Bertram Wilberforce "Bertie" Wooster is a recurring fictional character created by P. G. Wodehouse who has appeared in ten novels and over 40 short stories. The sauce he is likely to bring to the BBQ is Worcestershire sauce.
27) Pleasure Dome reffers to Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem Kubla Khan.
28) Samuel Taylor Coleridge was a poet who essentially co-launced the Romantic Age with William Wordsworth [see note #19].
29) William Yeats was a poet, writer and dramatist.
30) The current President of the United States (at the time of this song) is George W. Bush.
31) Tim Rogers is an Australian singer, both solo and with You Am I. He is known to be a supporter of the St. Kilda football club.
32) Nick Cave is an Australian singer/songwriter and performer known for his brooding, ballad-like style of writing.
33) Clare Bowditch is a singer/songwriter from Melbourne, Australia. She won an ARIA award in 2006 for Best Female Artist.